The painful return of Or, Eli and Ohad

Three more released hostages, their bodies and faces gaunt and skeletal

In some ways, the last few days of seeing the gaunt, skeletal faces and bodies of released hostages Or Levy, Eli Sharabi and Ohad Ben Ami have brought me right back to those first days after October 7.

It’s that familiar sense of horror and dread. I look at these men, at the pictures of them reuniting with their families, watching Eli Sharabi walk into the hospital, looking for his siblings and mother — does he know yet that his wife and daughters were killed on October 7? — and I’m filled with sadness. I can’t help but weep. I can’t believe this is happening.

I went to our early morning yoga class on Sunday morning, ahead of what I knew would be a long day of covering the latest with the released hostages. As I folded and bent myself into downward dogs and planks, my face close to the yoga mat, I kept finding myself on the verge of tears. I wanted to let it all out and just howl — but I wasn’t sure what good it would do.

As the day went on, our Sunday morning editorial meeting, recording a podcast with Mannie, the military correspondent, I kept seeing the images of the three men over and over again. We found out more about them, that Or Levy, who was taken from the same roadside shelter as Hersh, was kept with him for a time, and thought he’d long been released home.

Or wasn’t completely sure for the last 15 months that his wife, Eynav, had been killed on that day. She had, as he was dragged out on a pickup truck by Hamas terrorists, taken with Hersh, Alon Ohel and Eliya Cohen. And Or only found out that his worst nightmare was true when he came back on Saturday, as he finally reunited with his three-year-old, his own parents and brothers. His son, Almog, called Mogi, said to his dad, “Abba, you took such a long time to come home.”

Or Levy and his son, Almog; Eli Sharabi is held by his mother and siblings

And last night, as the families gave statements to the press, more details emerged. It seems that the men, and specifically the younger men, are kept in horrific conditions, chained in small, dark rooms, starved and abused. So now the parents of the younger men, those who aren’t on the list of 33 hostages to be freed in the first stage of the ceasefire are in more of a panic than ever, with real information about their sons’ conditions, knowing that every day in that hellhole is a danger to their lives.

I watched Idit Ohel, Alon Ohel’s mom, cry and yell on the 8 pm news as she reacted to all of it. And I’m glad she yelled, because we all need to hear her.

There are some better pieces of news. I spoke with the three siblings of released hostage Keith Siegel, two of them who live in the US and came to joyfully reunite with their brother. They told me about his meditative skills, how he recited the date every day, kept track of his days of captivity, and details about where he was kept, in order to keep himself sane as he was kept silent in small, dark rooms. He can tell them now what happened on Day 205, or Day 430 or any day, really.

The Siegel siblings, eldest brother Lee, left, David, Lucy and Keith, released home one week ago from Hamas captivity

He was starved as well, and lost a shocking amount of weight, but his appetite is slowly returning, and the former vegan is back to his tofu-eating ways. The idea of tofu for breakfast, lunch and dinner brought small smiles to all of our faces.

We knew that this drawn-out hostage deal was going to bring harder days, that not every return would feel as triumphant as that of Emily, Doron and Romi, or Liri, Naama, Karina and Daniella. But when you don’t know what to dread, it’s hard to anticipate it and preempt it. Now we know, and maybe that makes us a little smarter. Or not. We’ll see what the rest of this week brings.